Is this something one can enjoy in any possible way? Why make things so hard? Why come and make it a lot harder for me? What is there to gain? Do you enjoy it?

Feels like I should express myself. But I don't know, I doubt there could come any good out of it

Time heals all wounds...

People usually say that time heals all wounds. But lately I've been wondering about that. Could that actually be through or is it just one of those cliche lines. I haven't really experienced it that way. More the opposite. Now that is somewhat upsetting. I thought that time would make things easier but I feel everything is just getting harder.

The anger inside is just building up. I'm getting more angry. Today has been even more of a hell than yesterday and the day before. I suspect tomorrow might be worse. Too much to do, too much too think about. Too much to suppress...

Overcome

The deed is done, the things are said. Some feelngs were hurt. Some tears came streaming down some faces. Certain things were left behind. Not anymore in that same limbo anymore. Things were discussed and things were forgiven.

I am relieved that it went so well. I finally overcame it. It feels good, like if everything else is going to fix itself. Now I can truly say, I'm happy!

I can now go on and leave this whole thing behind!

Now certain events are going to take place and the future will start to unfold itself. I feel as though there's a lot hanging on this single weekend. Will there be a solution to this conflict? Will I be able to take care of it all? Is this situation repairable? Will I be able to go through with it considering these recent circumstances?

I fear the way things are going now, it won't turn out well. I don't feel at all as confident as I did then. But this has to be done and I'll just have to somehow forget about the other problems and keep going.

The only question is how to stay strong when so down? From where could one draw the strength needed at times like these? Is there any way of staying optimistic about this whole thing?

Old Acquaintances

I just had a nice conversation with one of my old classmates from Ireland. It was nice to do some catching up after all these years.

Simple things in life make it more enjoyable

Thought patterns

Recent thoughts that have crossed my mind have made me worry. Worry about what's going on inside. These violent outbursts held inside, these hurtful thoughts kept to myself. All for the sake of another. Why feel these urges? Why are they growing stronger and stronger all the time? If this keeps on, how long will it take before it consumes me? What kind of consequences could it have in the long-run? I know that these sleepless nights aren't going to have a good effect on the whole thing but it seems to be a product of this whole thing.

Sitting right in between two black holes feeling that you are being ripped apart. Not only from the outside but a monster is trying to break out from the prison inside you.