Reconciliation?

Though you forgive the people who hurt you, reconciliation is something else. I have a hard time seeing that as a possibility. Sometimes we can't make it happen. I don't really want it to happen either, at least I don't want to do anything about it. I don't think that the effort is worth it. Then the questions arise, are my thoughts just? Should I change the attitude and meet this beast anyway? 

My dreams seem to be screaming at me to do something. Not to just leave it. To rise above the circumstances and be strong. Even though I expect to receive nothing in return I should still do what's right. 

I'm just not sure what's right in this situation.

Bits and Pieces

I keep getting these fragments. I can't really put them together. It feels like there's something I'm missing and I don't know what it is. Perhaps I'm just not listening properly. I haven't written any of it down. It's like all I'm left with is this feeling of importance.

Maybe I need to redirect my focus?

Loads

There's so much going all it's hard to keep up.

Blessed

Life is pretty good right now.

Managing

You know some things are just not worth saying. I think the events speak for themselves.

They made me think. This is bigger than me and my experiences. My emotions are real, but they don't really matter. As I went through this I saw something. I gained an understanding. I stopped looking at myself. I stopped pitying myself.  

The circumstances suck but life is unfair and the world is wrong, so deal with it. 

The dream became even more relevant than before. 

Perseverance is key. 

I put my focus on the light and it saved me from the darkness. I cannot comprehend how amazing it really is, it is beyond me. The understanding makes it so much easier.  

The Sign

Alone, surrounded by darkness
Dark clouds covered the skies
The dark fog came closer and spread all around, preparing to devour. 
A pillar of Light shot down through the dark clouds

The Light cut through the darkness
The Light cleared the skies
The Light drove away the dark fog

The Light came to the rescue

No longer was loneliness king

No longer was the mind clouded

No longer did fear rule

No longer could darkness come near

Risk

I simply don't think that I'm worth the bother. I feel as though any confrontation would be like shooting myself in the foot. I believe that if I were to open my mouth it would be the end of it and I would simply lose. I'd rather hold on to this mediocre situation than to risk losing it altogether. 

Perhaps it's just me having little faith. I would really like to be proven wrong. 

There's a lot that never gets out. There are a lot of things that I held back that I now feel like letting out. Problem is that there's no one I trust enough. I can't let anyone see. It would be so out of character. I see no positive outcome. I could only anticipate increased distance.

Why does it feel so wrong to ever expect anything from anyone else?