Confidence

I feel more confident now. I had a short talk with a friend which gave me some quite obvious advice but it was good of this person to tell me just those things. Even though I knew them already the reassurance given was vital. I feel confident in what I must do. Now having a clearer perspective on how I'm going to go about, things should roll more smoothly. I just need to make sure I don't leave anything out and tell of the whole situation. How I look at the whole situation. What this situation has done and created. A possible solution that would stay for the rest of our lives. I still have my worries but I believe that it will at least turn towards the right way.

Recent Dreams...

What do they mean? Why am I having them? Is there a reason I'm having them? The same theme on them all. Why is this person always in some way in them? What is this persons role in the whole?

Questionable Moods...

A mixture of happiness and sorrow. Don't really know how to feel. What I should react upon the most. So much uncertainty. Why am I always a victim? Why haven't I already broken this cycle? Why does these small things get at me so much? I mean why am I disappointed? Did I really expect anything else? I mean who cares anyways? It's not like if it matters anyways...

Something Wonderful!

Can't explain the feeling, for words could not accurately explain the true greatness of that those moments. Really felt close. Really felt that I've taken a step closer to the right path. With these wonderful people as friends I feel secure and safe.

This is Something Wonderful! Now to spread my joy to everybody else!

?

I don't know how to express myself about the matter...

True Happiness

I can only thank you! Such happiness is far to rare! Prayers have been answered only in a different way than expected. Such happiness can only be divine.

Unsaid things...

Those things that are never said may hurt the most. Things that can't be said. How I wish I could let it all out... Not bottling it all up like this! I hate not being able to say what needs to be said. Keeping myself from doing this has it's negative effects.. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Slowly but surely I will eventually break down in despair. I have been crushed. Nothing seems to be able to render the pain for any periods of time.

I feel thrown away. Simply discarded. I really wish I wouldn't have to feel like this. But what is there I could do? If a person doesn't want to talk? It's not like if you could force the person to talk to you. It would only drive the person away... I guess I can only dwell further in thought and pray for salvation. Pray that this will soon end.