new experiences

This is one of those times in ones life where they go through loads of new experiences. Recently I've been feeling different feelings. Feelings I've never encountered before. I can only imagine what these feelings are but I dare not say it. But I do feel something new, and wonderful. A deep happiness which I cannot explain. And I know where the source of this happiness is. That's exactly what's making me wonder, could it really be. It makes me uncomfortable to think about it while it still makes me happy. Is this my subconsciousness telling me to not even try to understand it since it will only disappoint me ? Or it it saying not to even bother ?

One might wonder about these things.

Though it makes me wonder if I give these things too much thought. It's not like if it helps me in any way. But the real reason I look in to it so deeply is that I haven't quite got a hold of these feelings. I don't quite understand them which makes me nervous but yet I feel good. Which means these feelings are good but somehow I don't feel as though I don't deserve to be this happy. To feel the way I do. Is this telling me something ? Is there something I've missed ?

I'm thinking yes. There is something. There are Those issues that still needs taking care of. I've taken quite a long break from them and maybe it's time to go back and take care of Those things. I feel a great pull from two directions. This means that there's something still wrong. It must be one of Those issues. But right now there's nothing I can do. I still don't know what it is I can do to fix any of it. There must be something but I don't know what. I will take a look into it in a weeks time.

Wish me luck !