A Sense of Accomplishment, a Feeling of Despair

Lately I've been feeling that I'm going forward. Forwards towards what is still unclear to me. Along with this I've had this gnawing feeling. I've seen some areas in which I've made progress. I've seen how others have acknowledged me in a way they haven't before. People have started to see more of my true self. I have been able to tap into "that" which has helped me do a lot of things. I have stood up in situations I'd previously avoided. I have spoken in those situations I would have previously been silent. I've opened up more to the public than I have before.

Still I can't shake the anxiety. I can't quite shake the feelings of despair. I see so much light still I seem to be stuck in the darkness. Though the chains could no restrain the heart, the heart is still wounded and weak. These human imperfections breed anxiety like never before. 

I see more clearly now. I see why I've been placed here. Being alone does teach you a thing or two. One thing I've learned is that I can't keep relying on people to meet my needs. My needs are insatiable by human standards. I know that now. Even though I could be surrounded by loving people they couldn't truly give me what I want or need. Sure they can make life easier to live at times. They can only help me deal with the symptoms, they can never unroot the problem. 

I can never rely on anyone to fix me.

However I do have something else on which I can rely