Old Scars

I suppose things from the past always make a difference. Even though past is the past and one has moved on ghosts from the past tend to show up every now and then. Some things from the past tend to pop up in occasions where one would not expect.

How people treat you as a child greatly affects how one grows. How someone may mistreat you might have a great impact on later relationships. How someone praises you might greatly affect ones outlook on life. Condescending people can greatly disturb ones inner peace.

That condescending behaviour was devastating to the sense of self. Apparently it was unacceptable to be anything other than the expectations others had on you. Though one might have strived forward for something more those that should be supportive decided time and time again to be difficult. I often wonder why there just couldn't be any acknowledgement. I still do not understand why.

People who are supposed to be close refuse to look at what is. As if they would rather be blind.

There's a lot of resentment left. One should love but some people make it very difficult to do so. One might want to but truth is that there are some limitations and some weaknesses. That seems to be a part of being human.

What it has done is create an dissatisfaction of self. One can never be satisfied of oneself because the very core of the sense of self was disapproved in an important part of life. When one chooses to be blind and condescending one creates a deep wound, not a wound of the flesh but one much worse.