Saturday, June 29, 2013

Bad Conversations

I didn't like the conversation that was brought up. Nothing good came out of it. It simply stirred up old memories. That which was important was never revealed. I don't see how this conversation contributed to anything. 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Direction

It's very comforting knowing. It feels safer now. I'm keep thinking, how could I ever have lived without this for so long? It's important to have this. Yes I could have continued without it, but at what cost? It's just a shame that I lived like that for so long. This is a part of the journey.

I am grateful for this discovery. Though it might be a shame that it took so long, but could I really have seen it before? Was it there right in front of me all the time, only now it was meant to be revealed to me? 

I guess I know where I'm meant to go from here. This is the part of the journey I've been waiting for. This is a part of the journey which might prove the hardest and probably most rewarding. I have a sense of direction. 

Life is a process.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Clarity

I was introduced to this phenomena I found very interesting and enlightening. I could relate to nearly everything. I now understood a great deal more about myself. Things made a lot more sense, I could suddenly see why.

As if I hadn't gotten the direction pointed out to me before, this made things even clearer. I made the connections here and there and now I'm more certain than before. I see how this has affected my whole life negatively. I see how the situation is unstable as it is. I need to find stable ground. This is true in more than one way.

I know which road to take, but where will it lead?

A New Journey

Life is getting increasingly exciting. Now there's more room for other things, good things. Now the soil is just right, just right to finally get to plant those seeds. Those seeds have waited long enough. Now they're about to be planted and grow into something beautiful. That beauty my life has been missing. 

I will cherish these plants. Nothing will get in the way. This is meant to be, it always was.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Peace

In some ways nothing has really changed. In others, things have really transformed. I wanted change, true change. Now things that just happened seemed like a distant dream. I finally got free, free to pursue that which I had longed for all that time. I could finally leave that baggage behind me. I could finally come back.

I thought of all the things that kept me back, all the thoughts that kept popping up in my head and all the things I couldn't let go of. I decided that I didn't want to have it with me anymore. I didn't want to go on in the same path. I wanted honest and true change.

I saw the chains, I saw the destructive hold they had on me and the possible problems I could get myself into because of them. As the paper got ripped in two, the ties that bound were broken. I fell to my knees in pain. It felt as though a plug was pulled out of my heart. I could almost feel how all the blood came spilling out. The healing process began. I rose up again like a phenix rises from the ashes, stronger than ever before. Free from the burdens of the past with a heart filled once more.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

As One Chapter Ends, Another Chapter Begins

And so this chapter comes to a close. The ending was outdrawn and perhaps unnecessary, or maybe there was a point with that too? As the dream began to fade I started to see the truth I had denied. Illusions disappeared, with a light push I realised that the time was right, or long past due. 

I only wish we would have ended the chapter when everything fell into place, I should have listened. We could have avoided a lot of pain and hardships, had I only listened. The chapter finally ended. 

I look forward to this chapter. I'm happy to begin the new chapter. A Chapter full of opportunities and hope, hopefully. I don't want to be a slave of the past. Things will never be the same again.