It takes some time getting settled. There are a lot of things that you need to get used to. Things like checking your mailbox regularly and taking it easy every now and then. Eager as I've been I've barely spent any time at home. I've always been out and about and doing lots of stuff, mostly work related.
I suppose I should take it easy every now and then, but you know it's hard. Finding the time and the state of mind sitting down just relaxing and not thinking about work and everything work related. I haven't really felt the need to do so yet but my colleagues have told me I need take a break. I guess having been unemployed makes you eager to work.
I'm starting to see that I barely take any time at all alone for myself and I know that I'm the kind of person who needs time alone a lot more than what you'd think. The problem is that I've never before felt that it's okay to put on the brakes every now and then. I've never before felt that I've had the possibility to take care of myself the way I'm now able to do.
Certain aspects of me have emerged as of late. Things which have been hidden, submerged in darkness. So much has been kept from me all this time. Finally I've been able to let it out. Not all of it of course but it's a process, not to be rushed.
As things open up new revelations come, I can see things with more clarity now than I've ever could. I feel like I'm more and more becoming the man I've felt that I should be, but that's still a long way from here.
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