Lifted weights

This weekend was something I really needed. Away from life as I know it. Isolated in an cold cocoon surrounded by friends. It's been along time since I've done anything of the sorts. Long time since I actually did anything with friends. It's been something else than the normal half-conversations I've been having as of late. Not the same meaningless wasting of time which doesn't make anything feel better. Certain things have been nice but they've only had trivial changes in my life. Just wasting time on meaningless complaining about things we cannot change. In the end it doesn't really matter. It will never change. Things will forever be of the same nature only different places and different times. So why complain about the inevitable future? There will always be thing to do. There will always be a lot going on. There will always be a need to prioritize and leave somethings behind. One has to learn to decide what is truly important and do what one can to keep it close and not let go. But I guess that's kind of what's happened. Only that the words and actions don't match.

When being away like this I felt life. As if it was something I haven't experienced in a long time. It was as if a great weight had been lifted. There was a sense of purpose in being there. We were doing stuff that I felt had meaning. Something concrete that I truly will have use for now and in the future. A constructive way of communicating without any complications. We learned stuff about each other. I was more direct and honest than I've been able to be in a long time. It felt nice, having a group of people who you feel you could share such things with. Of course there are a lot of things which I left out. But there where these few things that I wouldn't have been as open with as in normal circumstances.

Maybe there never was a weight that was lifted. Maybe the weight wasn't lifted but shared? Maybe I only felt a lighter weight because it was one that I had now been able to share like never before?

I look forward to going to the Philippines. I think that will do me good. Not only for practical reasons but spiritually as well. I think it will give time for my soul to mend it's wounds and scars. I believe that this trip will be life changing. There will be a rejuvenation me as a whole. Both body and spirit.