I realized today that I sleep a lot better now since we came back from the Philippines. But also I've realized more things which are more or less sad. Sad truths about how things really are. Mostly about me. Now I'm wondering, has these things just been suppressed earlier or is it something new. My analysis says that it's maybe a bit of both.
I really need to change these things. And when I think about it I am quite clear about what needs to be done. Now the challenge is getting those things done. But I worry about the success of my plans. If they really will make things better or if they'll only make things worse. Things can go both ways. I just have too little faith in that course of action. Don't really believe it will change for the better. Which hinders me from taking that course of action. But we'll have to see. It still feels as though that is supposed to be done. This is a situation when logic and intuition conflicts with each other.
I myself have to make certain changes and I know what they are. It seems to me as though I have lost a part of myself and I need to retrieve it once again. There is a part of me that's hidden which I miss. And I'm sure others do to. At least there are some people who do.
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