It cut me, and I can still feel the blade sinking into me. I can still feel the blade cutting me. It hurt, it hurt a lot. Afterwards there felt as though there was something missing, but that felt good somehow. There was a part of me that finally left and now it is no longer controlling me.
Though it feels good that it's gone, there are still some drawbacks in this imperfect world. I fear that understanding won't be there. I fear that as it was good to have done, there was a big sacrifice being made at the same time. A sacrifice one has to make in order to make things better. It's all a means to an end, but also it's the right thing to do. I am indeed sure this is the right thing to do.
I can really feel how there is something missing from my former self. After the operation I can feel that what was is no more. Somehow I wonder whether it was the operation itself which removed it or if it was my own mind which created the illusion by itself.
On this new narrow path I've found myself on I've come to find things difficult yet again, but this time it feels right. It's difficult, but in a completely new way.
One does not feel alone in the dark any more.
One does not have to be alone any more.
One does not need to be guarded any more.
One can once again open the gates.
Death has no dominion over me any more.
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