This

I've had a lot of thoughts about it lately. What I'm doing, what I want to do, what I should do and so on. So I guess things are pretty much as they usually are, only now things seem more complicated than they usually are. So many things to take into account. So many things which tell me different things. I know things will never be the way I imagined them. Not as seems now anyway. I just don't see that possibility, I suppose that might be good or bad. Then there's the important factor I never really took into account that still influences me constantly. The whole reason this is something to think about in the first place.

I have come to love it here. I am really happy about having these opportunities. I'm wondering if this was that which I felt for all these years. If this was that which would fill that void that never could get filled. I suppose it's the completely new ingredients in my life.

I see it.