Release

As I threw away those memories I found in a box I thought to myself "Why is this still left here?". I was going to give them back but thought that it would only stir up the whole thing again. It would only have situations surface once more which have been submerged in time. Only a faint memory with an annoying but faint reminder. When I think back I can't really remember. For what was was totally and completely lost in bang. Makes me wonder if that chapter ever was true or if it was all an illusion. For nothing shows that an acquaintance ever existed. I wouldn't believe it if others wouldn't remember the same things. While these brief thought enter and exit my mind and I throw those items away. With a following near silence. Surrounded by complete silence I hear those last cracks fall apart and a following great smile. A feeling of relief. As if released from those heavy chains. That's what I call painful sentiments.

Further on I go on about my life I realize yet again that there are up stirred feelings. That everything isn't okay in anothers life. That peoples problems are again pressing them down. Unable to really say anything of any worth I could only reply in a passive manner.

After feeling completely helpless and insufficient I went about as normal placing my thoughts into different matters I stumble upon another friend. As our conversation progresses I find myself in a similar position. "Have any of my efforts showed any progress at all?" I think to myself before the question is answered. Angerly I was answered in such a way it seemed that any efforts made have been completely useless. That nothing has had any worth. That the situation is same and that nothing seems to change this fact.

Hearing these things I think angerly to myself a great deal of thoughts. A urge to completely give up spreads throughout the whole body. What is the real cause to this all? Being to tired to handle the situation I left it to another time. These actions might have great negative impact on the future.