I am never alone

I found myself put in this process. I'm still in it and I don't know when I'll be coming out of it. I'm reminded of something a friend noticed. The same thing came up every now and then. I suppose I might not have been ready to take it then for what it was. There's a whole part that I just wanted to deny, even though I could see it myself. I chose to be blind to the truth that was right in front of me. I guess I'm bringing it up again because I hurt myself a lot making that choice. 

Things bubbled up to the surface once more and I need to deal with the things now that I couldn't back then. There were a few words that stuck with me. I shared those words and thought about the situation I was facing. I got some good advice. My mind is no longer in shambles. I'm more clear about it now. Putting the pieces together now and finding that things probably are as I thought all along. My thoughts reflecting the realisation that I had not yet processed. 

Looking back I realise that my focus shifted. I need to put it back in place. Focus on what's important, the rest is secondary. I sometimes feel like I'm very hard in my thoughts and I wonder whether or not I ought to be. Naturally I think I'm right but do I need to be more gentle in my mind? A lot of thoughts I'm having now is about what I'm doing and why I'm doing what I do. This applies to a lot of areas. To be honest I've felt like last year blurred my vision and that I've missed out on a lot of things because of it. I suppose it's perfectly normal, but it perhaps isn't the best. It's hard to focus when your eyesight is blurred. 

This year I'm hoping things will go smoother. I'm hoping to not be as distracted as I've been before. I want to be more intentional with what I'm doing and making proper plans. I plan to be more stable and strong. I will learn from the past and leave it behind me and look forward to that which is to come.