sad but true...

I tend to have all the wrong priorities. I have realized what I need to change. But then I don't seem to be able to change them. Maybe I'm not really trying even though I want to. Am I unable to do so ? Not likely. I probably don't want to even though it would be so much better for me. Since I don't seem to gain anything when following my current priorities. They need to change for me to change. I need to change becase that's the only way for my situation to change. And I do not want to be in this same situation any longer. It's just unhealthy. I'm just being unhealthy. And it's my fault and my fault alone. Or maybe it's not the priorities that needs to change, maybe it's my choises. I'm making the same mistakes as before as if I didn't learn anything from them. As if I didn't learn anything from them.... Now that I said it I might just have considered that possibility. Realization sometimes really sucks. But without it I'd be a lost cause. I need to just let it go. Force it away if I have to. I can't relive this scenario... I simply can't.