The Solitary Road

Moments of charade, the deeply hidden anger, the loneliness of my ways and a strange satisfaction.

The road I travel is one of loneliness. I have many times wondered if there is anyone else on this road. Why do I never meet anyone else in that case? Probably because they all stay hidden. They probably have great reasons to why they would hide. I've always thought that I have had great reasons for me hiding within myself behind my transparent wall. You can see me and be very close but you could never touch me, unless I let you. Every now and then I've let people come and touch me, people I have felt that I could trust. But at the moment there is no one with that privilege.

I have shut out everyone from the depths of that which is the inner me. I've brought everyone much closer to my outer me. I am still the lonely one of the crowd but it doesn't bother me as much as it did. I've been able to accept this change, more or less.

I can't say I'm happy with it, but it doesn't make me unhappy either. It's just the way it is now. No reason to complain about that. More sides of me have come forth. Those are sides of denial. Others do not see them for what they are. Looks can and mostly are deceiving. Few people care to look into it even though they must know.

There was the question and there was the following question. As I answered I realized I was being analyzed. There was an underlying question. I must have answered it with only the way I looked back into those gazing eyes. There's still a chance that the information wasn't revealed to the person. One can never be certain.

The quality of my sleep hasn't been the greatest lately. There's no apparent reason.