Progress

So monday I got loads of Happy Birthdays. Including one from that one. I was surprised for it was a proper attempt. Just the kind I was hoping for. Only that it was a bit too cheerful for my taste. Wasn't really in any mood. And it was a bit of a strong aproach to start off with. But at least our conversation led to something this time. Still nothing more has really been done since. I guess it is expected of me to take some initiative too. But that wasn't quite our deal. I said that I would at first be a hard target. That I wouldn't necessarly do anything in return. That that one needs to start everything off again.

But I'm unsure of if that one really understood that or just thinks that it was for one time. I thought I was clear but seems not. Or maybe it's just hard. Maybe that one is afraid of me. At least that was the case last time. That was why nothing ever happened. But why be afraid? What is there to be afraid of? It seems silly to me to be afraid like that. I mean why? But this is people we're talking about. They're all silly. Every single one of them. You just have to find those situations where they are.

I'm probably silly for even putting any thought into this. That must be my folly. To even let myself care for this anymore. This whole situation started off silly, everything that's been going on has been silly. How silly of me not to have gotten rid of it already.


But over all I see a bright future. A very interesting one. Though in certain aspects it might me a gamble. It always is. There's no real way of getting past that gamble. For noone is that honest that there wouldn't be a gamble. At least I haven't met such a person. But thinking back there was this one person. Some times I miss what was then. There we had something great. But unfortunately time pushed us apart. Now we don't have that much contact. It's a pity really, for it was absolutely the best. Something I constantly keep thinking of. But we've settled our differences. We are friends but we meet all to seldom. But I don't really want to meet too often either. I like it the way it is. There is no way of having what once was anyways.

But enough of going through memories. The main thing is that the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and brighter.